A Place to Come Home To
by GunjiBunny
Summary: Future Glee-fic. After school ends Finn joins the military and actually stays there writing letters home to Santana, Kurt and Rachel. When he goes missing for months and returns a changed man. This is how the trio reacts to the new Finn. Fintana fic. Finchel friendship, Furt friendship.
1. Chapter 1

When Finn joined the army most disapproved, Santana did not. She thought he was brave for wanting to do it even after learning his father was broken from the war. He was determined not to let it break him as well. While Santana, Kurt and Rachel went to New York City, Finn traveled twenty hours to Killeen, Texas to train at Fort Hood. Despite the hardships all three managed to become pen pals with him for a while. Rachel's communication with him ended first while he was still at Ford Hood. The last letter Kurt got was post marked from Paris, France. Santana never stopped; in fact she found solace in Fin. Telling her former glee member everything from her classes, classmates and teachers to her relationships with Kurt and Rachel as roommates and even her love life. He was very sympathetic when she told him about her break up with Brittney. Finn's letters were filled with advise as well as his life in the army along with what he did when they gave him 'shore leave' of sorts where he told her about the sights, sounds and of course the women. When he was shipped overseas she knew it would take longer for the letters to arrive however eventually, they stopped and she feared the worse especially after three months passed with no letter. One day while she was relaxing on the couch while Kurt and Rachel were out at an audition, when there was a knock at the door she jumped up thinking her New York pizza had arrived. Picking up her purse she was searching through it when she opened the door but it fell to the floor when she saw the man in a military uniform. Seeing the shock in her face, the fear the man spoke.

"It's not the worst case, are you Ms. Lopez?" he asked and she nodded not able to stop the tears from flowing down her face. "IS Mr. Hummel around?" a shake this time, "From what we learned from Private Hudson's personal information Mr. Hummel is his brother and you are the person he kept the most in touch with. Private Hudson's unit went missing three weeks ago. At first we feared the worst but after a raid of an enemy facility we found one of his squad mates barely alive. He advised us that Private Hudson along with two others were taken deep into enemy territory, as of right now he is declared MIA." Reaching out and grabbing onto his arm to steady herself she felt the world turn on it's side as she fell to her knees. Holding her steady the soldier remained silent as they heard excited clattering coming up the stairs. Pausing seeing the man over a crying Santana the duo ran over to them.

"Do you want me to explain?" the soldier asked as Kurt and Rachel helped Santana up.

"No, I'll tell them, thank you." Santana managed to get out and the man apologized and left as Kurt led her to the couch where she proceeded to tell them what happened to Finn. Rachel was in denial and Kurt couldn't stop crying hugging his Latina friend. Two more months passed and life moved on as it tended to do. Kurt got cast as Peter Pan while Rachel scored her dream role in the revival of Funny Girl. Santana loved to sing however Broadway wasn't her dream, instead she got more into dancing and took a job teaching at NYADA taking over Cassandra's old job to get the last of her credits. After class, and walking home, Santana decided to swing by the bank of mailboxes to collect everyone's mail, instead of the massive amount of junk mail they normally had Santana was taken back to see a single letter with familiar scrawl on it. Dropping her bags she quickly took it out and tore it open pulling the letter out and reading it to herself.

"Santana, I am so sorry that I haven't written, things have been a little hectic. My squad was on a routine patrol when there was an explosion, the front of the two trucks we had hit an IED. Three of my friends were instantly killed, five of us were captured. Two were left behind as a warning and the last of us were taken away somewhere. I guess they thought we had secrets or something because they tortured us to near death." Shocked at that Santana felt herself gasp before pushing on. "I kept the letters we were sending each other on me and hid it well enough where at first they didn't find them. I read them over and over thinking about you the whole time and even after they found and destroyed them I had them memorized. All the time they were hurting me I kept on surviving for you, the thought of seeing you again, hearing you sing, held me together, and I hope it doesn't make me sound too presumptuous (Had to ask the guy in the next bed how to spell that…and what it meant)" She surprised herself by chuckling. "But you saved my life Santana. I was going to tell you this in my last letter that never got sent, but I love how close we were getting and I was starting to fall for you. This last bit may be a bit dramatic, but check the return address. They asked me where I wanted to transfer to when I returned home to the states, which hospital and I asked for a New York City hospital. I would love to see you again and I'll be here for a long time considering that I need to heal up, they say I have PSTD. Hope to see you soon. Your Friend, Finn Hudson. PS check the mailing address. "

Quickly turning it over she recognized the street and even the hospital having walked by it after class, it was close to her favorite frozen yogurt place. Quickly grabbing her bags and running up the apartment she tossed them into her room and into the bathroom to shower and get dressed. It was crazy but she was so scared that she lost him that she too felt the connection he had felt. Coming out in a towel, drying her hair she hurried into her room rushing pass Kurt who was coming into the kitchen from his room.

"Where's the sale?" Kurt asked and this surprised Santana that he saw the excitement in her.

"Finn's back," she explained and the wonderment turned to joy. Quickly she dressed and came back out as Kurt hugged her.

"I called my dad, he knew that Finn was back as well but Finn asked to keep it a secret unless I asked." Pushing the letter into his hands for him to read she kissed his cheek and took off. Knowing where he was calmed her mind as she drove through the insane traffic that made New York famous. Pulling into the lot connected to the Veteran's Hospital she check herself in the mirror and actually felt nervous. Climbing out the car she went into the building and saw the nurse behind the counter and walked right up to her.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a tall slow guy." She said and the woman looked at her and smiled.

"Tallest current resident is Hudson but he's not slow and should be in the break room for another ten minutes before his physical therapy."

"Is he okay?" Santana asked, a little worried about the answer and the woman smiled softening it.

"Yes, but he'll never dance again." She said with a smile that made Santana think that the nurse heard more than one of Finn's stories. Thanking her she went the way the she was directed and paused at the door looking into the room and seeing Finn sitting in a wheelchair. Stepping into the room she paused hoping that if he was confined to the chair she wouldn't feel any different about him. Suddenly he turned and saw her, a huge smile forming on his face, he looked the same except for the military style hair cut that was actually cute on him, his features also looked a little hardened as well. Suddenly he was up and had scooped her up into a big hug.

"I missed you," he said into her as she laughed and hugged him back. Setting her back down he looked at her unable to remove the dopey smile from his face until he saw her tears.

"Are you okay?"

"Am I okay? Are you okay?" he asked selfless as always.

"I'm happy. They said you had therapy" She asked as his eyes went cold for a moment as if remembering something, but he returned to the now and smiled again.

"I lost my left foot," he said lifting his pant leg revealing the prosthetic foot and leg, "Lost it at the knee so can't dance again," he smiled at his joke, "Also I suffer from PSTD, I wake up some nights screaming and thrashing about."

"It's PTSD" she said with a soft smile worried about him, he thought about it and nodded noticing her concern.

"Don't worry though, I'm alive and got an honorable discharge. I got my dad's dishonorable status changed as well, the Hudson line will be known as heroes again. I asked for New York because I wanted to see you and become friends with the new you, if you'll still have me?" Part of her wanted to scream yes to the heavens but she wasn't that type of person and didn't want to change just for him. Knowing her for so long she hoped he knew that so instead of saying yes she said.

"You should come over for dinner, Kurt would love to see you but I can't speak for Rachel."

"That would be great I'd love to catch up with everyone including Rachel." He was acting so grown up it was a refreshing change, last she saw him he was this man-child and now he was a real man, it was hot. "Did you need to be somewhere or did you want to watch some NCSI with Matt and I?" The other soldier he was with finally looked up at the pair.

"Wow Hudson she could be my nurse any day of the week," earning him a quick blush but regaining her feistiness she pushed Finn back into the wheel chair and settled down on his lap, throwing a little bit of a grind once the other guy looked back at the TV. She left once the show was over and Finn left for therapy but heading out to her car she paused seeing Kurt leaning against her car.

"Before you launch yourself at me I actually called ahead and know he's in therapy. Should I brace myself?" Kurt asked knowing Santana had spent some time with him.

"Aside from losing his haircut to the military style." She stated.

"Always a faux pa," he joked and she smiled.

"He lost a good portion of his left leg, be wary of his joke about dancing, he's taking it really well though very positive."

"That's our Finn," Kurt said with a smile.

"Did you tell Rachel?"

"Yeah, she's at rehearsal but I told her to call me afterwards for an update. She's happy he's okay and alive but cares as a friend, not someone with romantic interest in him." Santana blushed again, damn twice in one day what was that boy doing to her?

"I invited him to dinner; we can text him the address," she realized that he probably didn't have a phone yet, "or call the VA hospital."

"Tomorrow?" he asked and she nodded, "Okay well I'll let him know when I get in there."

Saying goodbye they parted ways, Kurt to visit his brother and Santana to head home to get ready for tomorrow. Kurt filled Finn in with what had been happening for the trio surprising him when Finn hugged him goodbye.

"Not that I don't like the brotherly closeness…" Kurt started only to see Finn smile.

"Just in case anything happens between now and the next time I see you I want you to know I care."

"Is the depression that bad?" Kurt asked his brow furring with worry.

"I didn't survive the war just to die back home. I've lost a lot of friends out there even doing normal things and I never got a chance to say goodbye or let them know what they meant to me."

"You've really grown up," Kurt said also noticing what Santana had seen, "Dinner is tomorrow at six, do you need to address?" Shaking his head Finn watched as Kurt went home waving goodbye from the street.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN – If you look through my other stories you'll see I'm pretty forgetful when it comes to these so let's start now, I own nothing Glee related please support the official release. **

The loft where Kurt and Rachel moved was large and open with the only real built-in walls in the kitchen and bathroom. When Santana moved in they had to get rid of the dining room and shrink the living room a little but not a whole lot. Understanding that she just moved in without waiting for an answer Santana agreed to the smallest of the three rooms and ended up with a space the size of a small dorm room, enough for a bed, desk and dresser drawers along with a closet from Ikea. Since it was built into the loft the kitchen's size remained moderate with a table that was used for meals when all three were home, as far and few as those occasions might be. Tonight was going to be one of those nights because Finn was coming over, the only one who might be late would be Kurt as he had one of the last few rehearsals since he was cast as Peter in a musical about Peter Pan.

Knowing that Rachel was still a vegetarian Santana took lead on dinner wanting to try a new recipe for homemade pot roast. So giving Rachel half the list once they got to the local grocery store they started to shop. Picking up a nice sized roast Santana found herself watching a small family shopping as well shaking herself out of her thoughts she took a deep breath because she wasn't thinking about her and her wife with their adopted kid but of her and Finn, which would make her nosey roommates' suspicions correct. Speaking of the devil Rachel arrived with her arms full of items which she put into the basket.

"Damn Rachel how many people are you planning on feeding?" Santana asked looking down at everything in there. Rachel smirked.

"I'm not just shopping for our guest tonight; since you're helping I figured I'd get some normal grocery shopping done as well." Looking at the family she caught Santana staring at she smiled.

"Thinking of you and Danni or are you thinking a more traditional family?" Rachel teased earning her a slightly light punch to the shoulder. "I'm over him you know, Finn? I don't know what he said to you in your letters but in ours we were more honest with our feelings than we ever were in High School. I think he realized everything first but didn't just tell me, he lead me to it and it was up to me to figure it out. My dreams were different than his, not bigger, just different and they were pulling us in opposite directions. My dismissal of his dreams and happiness wasn't fair, I was just being selfish thinking I was all he needed."

"You figured that out yourself?"

"He was a big help, I tried to stay in touch after we broke off the engagement but New York life happened. I would have just cheated on him or something, eventually the letters just stopped. I got one from him about leaving for Europe soon but it got lost in my NYADA books and was eventually just forgotten." Nodding at Rachel's story Santana thought about her own letters to Finn, there was always an undertone of seriousness among the words of friendship. Serious about himself and his missions and serious about her and taking care of her own life.

"Finn's letters to me were the same and different," Santana said feeling like she needed to share something with Rachel but not everything, "I told him about Brittney and Danni, he was very supportive of both. In fact he asked if when he was given some leave if he wanted me to have him go talk some sense into Brittney. I told him that it was fine and he asked if I was gay still. I told him that I hate labels and you know what he said?" Rachel shook her head as she pushed the cart forward, "He said, that's kind of cool, you love without boundaries, love the person not the body."

"Wow, the army was a really good choice for him, he's grown up so much." Santana nodded and they went to check out.

Later at home while the roast was cooking and Rachel was making all sorts of meat free appetizers Santana got a phone call from Kurt.

"What's up Tinkerbelle?" she asked stealing a stuffed mushroom cap from Rachel popping it into her mouth.

"They cancelled rehearsal, the director's newborn is sick so we ended early."

"So you can get here and help set up for your brother's dinner, great."

"Yeah…" Kurt said sounding off.

"What's wrong are you planning on skipping out on us, on Finn?"

"No, not at all, it's just I grabbed the wrong bag and was originally going to get a ride home from the director," Kurt explained hoping she'd get it.

"And?"

"And I don't want to ride the subway dressed as Peter Pan!" he shouted as Santana burst out laughing earning a look from Rachel.

"Why not, I think you'd fit right in with the rest of the loons of New York."

"Please bring me some extra clothes Santana; I'll take your week of kitchen duties." Kurt whined.

"Half a week of Rachel's as well."

"Fine, just hurry, please." Laughing as she hung up she shook her head at Rachel before going into Kurt's area and picking up his jeans and a shirt, basic stuff, he could fancy up when they got home. Coming back into the kitchen Santana shot daggers at Rachel.

"Kurt needs rescuing and I'm going to be his heroes in exchange for kitchen duties don't go ruining my roast while I'm gone."

"I promise to keep an eye on it," she said waving Santana off with a large wooden spoon which still had some mashed potato on it. The stage where Kurt's play would be, in a week, wasn't too far from the Loft, just two subway stops away. Arriving she let herself in and saw there were a few people still lingering about, finding Kurt chatting with a hot woman in a sparkly dress.

"Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster you're here," Kurt said taking the clothes from her and frowning, "These don't match."

"Your Peter Pan outfit matches maybe you should just keep wearing that," Santana snapped causing Kurt to yelp, yes yelp, and run off to change. The woman giggled at that reaction of his.

"Hey I'm Julie, Tinkerbelle."

"Santana, roommate of Kurt's" Santana said, "You waiting for someone to bring you a change of clothes as well?" Julie smiled.

"Nope I'm fine looking like I am on the inside, a fairy," she said with a smile, "You're such a good friend to help Kurt out like that, where are you two going after this? Want to check out a new club nearby, I can score us some candy?" She asked with a smile that you could tell she was going to be trouble for someone later.

"Kurt's brother is back and we're going to cook dinner for him."

"The army guy, Kurt talks about him sometimes, mostly in the beginning. We all had our own stories and Kurt had his big brother who was off doing romantic things overseas. Do you mind another guest; I wouldn't mind thanking a soldier for everything he's done." Santana almost hit her but didn't know why, "Sorry New York Family only." Julie nodded seeing Kurt coming back.

"That's cool; Kurt has my number make sure his brother gets it, thanks. See you later Kurt," she said kissing his cheek before trotting away.

"I feel like Sam on laundry day," he said fixing his shirt watching Julie walk off, "Did you get her number?"

"Nope." Kurt smiled knowingly as Santana said something under her breath and they walked to the subway station, "Are you going to be playing cupid with Rachel or something because you forgot to get the wings from Julie back there."

"Rachel texted me while I was waiting for you, mostly how to know when a pot roast is done but also to let me know she told you about her letters with Finn. Since I'm a guy I bet his letters to me were different from those to you."

"Yeah so?"

"With Rachel he was gentle yet strict, showing her how they weren't right for each other as lovers but just as friends. With me it was more towards gaining confidence to be myself, remember the night I told you two that I got the role of Peter Pan? I wasn't going to audition for that role but for Tinkerbelle. I was worried that I couldn't play a male character, a male lead who likes a girl well enough to get that role. Finn convinced me otherwise," he said as they got onto the subway car and he spoke in a deeper voice, "I watched you grow through high school from the weakling Puck threw in the trash to someone with the guts to run for student president." Then in his normal voice, "He even said that he voted for me."

"Why are you telling me this?" Santana asked pretending to sound annoyed. She wasn't though, hearing anything about Finn made a little light inside her shine. Regardless of Kurt and Rachel's endless pressure and Finn himself confessing his feelings Santana knew that he was her best friend. However last time she told her best friend that she loved her she was rejected and she couldn't stand for that to happen again.

"I know you think highly of Finn and I just wanted you to know how special he is to all of us. I bet if you went home to Lima and asked the others they could share stories about how he touched their lives," that actually brought an idea of a present for Finn, "In fact I'm going to text everyone now asking for them to mail us their honest, fondest memories of Finn as a welcome home present," he said whipping out his phone as they arrived at the stop and walked the last block home. When they arrived they were greeted by a beaming Rachel.

"Roast is done and not burned, there's croissants warming in the oven and everything else is ready to go. All that's left is to change and wait." With there only being one bathroom Santana and Rachel let Kurt go first since he was sweating from rehearsal. Looking at the clock it was only four which left them with two hours to get ready for dinner. Promising a quick shower Kurt was out and it was Rachel's turn as Santana started watching some Pawn show on TV. Her phone chirped signaling a text message so she pulled her phone out, it was from Brittney. She had gotten the message from Kurt about a personal time with Finn and said she was worried. Asking why, Brittney said that she never slept with Finn. Shaking her head Santana typed back, one time that Finn was there for Brittney, when he supported her or took care of her. There was silence for a long time just the sound of the water running before Rachel turned it off and called that it was Santana's turn. In the bathroom she stripped her clothes from her and almost climbed in when her phone buzzed again.

"Sam got me Lady Tubbington, but Finn got me Lord Tubbington." That was something that she never knew, she thought that Brittney got Lord Tubbington with her parents but then again the cat was always just around. Quickly replying that it would be a good story she turned off her phone and climbed into the warm shower, being the last one in she knew she had to be quick as there wasn't a lot of hot water left.

At five thirty Santana left her room and went to the couch where Kurt had gotten sucked into her Pawn show. Sitting next to him she looked over at Rachel who was wearing a modest blue dress, not something you'd wear if you were trying to impress someone and that made Santana smile a little, maybe she was telling her the truth when she said she was over Finn. At six on the dot there was a knock on the door causing Santana to jump up earning another smirk from Kurt. Walking to the door she opened it up to a smiling giant with a pie in his hands.

"Kurt knows we never show up empty handed," he explained as Rachel took it from him and Santana gave him a hug which he returned with exuberance picking her up a little. Once she was down he reached and hugged Kurt, normal patting his back before turning to Rachel who had placed the pie and hurried over for her hug as well. Santana watched for a hand sliding south or the hug to last just a little longer but it was completely normal. Smiling she closed the took and took a deep breath, tonight was going to be interesting.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN – Please read, review and especially enjoy. Once again I own nothing but please support the official release.**

Okay maybe things weren't interesting in a weird way but it was interesting in a good one. With Finn back within their group of friends everything felt, surprisingly, normal. They ate, told stories and laughed like a normal family. Finn spoke about the good days in the army including overseas and home. Kurt talked about rehearsals as did Rachel and Santana talked about classes she wanted to take soon. She thought she sang at the level of Rachel and Kurt but she wanted to dance. Brittney had introduced her to the different styles and was good at everything. Even though Santana was good, not Mike good but good, she actually settled on a specific style of dance. Against all odds she wanted to become a ballerina. She had yet to tell anyone else about her dream, not Brittney, not the others, not even Finn knew just yet. After dinner and washing dishes, which Finn said he would do as a thank you for Rachel going against her vegan religion and cooking him meat, she of course didn't eat it but at the same time it was sweet. During the meal they had all agreed on a musical movie to enjoy over dessert. Kurt wanted Les Miserables, Rachel wanted Funny Girl and Santana wanted Rent. Finn was the deciding vote opting for all three, starting with Rent, Funny Girl and finally Les Miserables whispering to Santana that he expected to fall asleep by that one earning an out of place giggle from her. Finn smiled that goofy smile of him back as well which earned a punch to his shoulder as Finn settled into the couch flanked by both girls with Kurt taking over the comfy chair.

It was a high school flashback as they each sang parts from Rent with of course Santana taking on 'Take Me Out Tonight' while Finn and Rachel dueled 'Tango Maureen' and Kurt and Rachel took on 'Take Me or Leave Me". Letting Rachel do her thing during Funny Girl Finn wasn't the only one barely awake when Les Miserables came on. Instead of sending Finn home to the VA Hospital Santana offered her bed. Ignoring the looks from her roommates she assured Finn no funny business oddly enough Finn kept declining stating that he could sleep on the couch that was three feet shorter than him. Kurt and Rachel had gone to bed already with Kurt smirking telling him he could sleep with him. Grinning back Finn said that he probably shouldn't sleep next to anyone. Confused, Kurt let it go needing his beauty sleep. After enough whining and coaxing she got him to sleep with her, it never took Santana this much effort to get a man into bed with her. Normally she flashes a smile, shows a little skin and their pants are on the floor. Regardless there they were laying in bed together and the only way to really get comfortable was with him holding her. It felt so safe, so right yet she was still telling herself not to get used to it as she fell asleep.

Jerking awake Santana had a deep feeling of dread, feeling around she realized that Finn was no longer there. There was something wet there but not in a spot where Finn wet himself or anything. Grabbing her phone she turned on the flashlight feature and looked to see that Finn had soaked the sheets with sweat. Sitting up she scanned the room to try to find the big lug and she was surprised to see that for such a big guy he was hiding really well. Standing up she looked around, there wasn't a closet in this loft of an apartment but there was something that Santana had ordered from an Ikea catalog that once built, was a make shift one. At the bottom of everything she noticed her shoes were out. Getting on her knees she pushed aside her dresses and there he was. Somehow he managed to get all six foot three into that five feet across four feet deep closet. His eyes were closed tighter than normal sleep, his body was all clenched up, tears streaming down his face. Reaching out to touch him he shrunk back if that was even possible. Then the oddest thing happened, he started talking to her but it wasn't English, it sounded middle eastern.

"Finn it's me, it's Santana," she whispered trying to coax him out and at first it was as if her words weren't reaching him but after a few more minutes of trying he stopped talking and shaking, his body seemed to relax as well. Slowly opening his eyes he stared at her before slowly coming out, a few moments later they were sitting across from each other legs crossed.

"I'm so sorry you had to see me like this, that's why I didn't want to sleep with anyone," he muttered but she still caught it, reaching out and squeezing his hand. "The doctors say it's PTSD, I sometimes wake up from nightmares and go into that state. Some nights it gets a lot more violent, I've attacked an orderly one time before."

"You were talking in a weird language."

"Arabic, the language of those who held me captive. The doctors have heard it before and had it translated. It's basically me begging for them to stop, to stop hurting me." Santana gasped slowly rubbing his arm as she moved over next to him and pulled his head against her chest stroking his hair as he continued to weep. They stayed like that for the rest of the night, only to be awaken by Kurt the next morning. By then Finn had his head in Santana's lap while Santana was just asleep sitting up. Gently moving his head onto the ground she rose, rubbing her neck which had a crick in it now.

"What's up with that?" Kurt asked softly once they were in the living room.

"Found out why he didn't want to sleep with anyone. Apparently he suffers from nightmares and when a big guy like Finn lashes out it could be very bad for anyone nearby. Luckily for me he didn't punch or kick me, just crawled into the bottom of my closet." Kurt looks distraught at that since her closet was tiny.

"Thanks for telling me Santana, I'll be here to help him as much as I can. So no cuddling or anything before he left?" Smiling Santana smacked him as they went about doing their normal morning routines. Once she was ready to head to class she peeked in to see that somehow Finn had crawled back inside the closet, as if he could stay safe by being hidden from the world. Creeping inside she got down onto her knees, seeing that he was awake.

"Finn? I have to go to class now, Kurt and Rachel will still be here but not for much longer. I'll call you on lunch, maybe we can meet up?" He didn't say anything but she thought she saw him nod so she smiled and left him alone. After her last class Santana started towards the Library to grab a book she needed when 'Don't Rain on My Parade' started to play. Answering it she knew who it was.

"Hey Rachel, what's going on?"

"Santana have you heard from Finn?" Rachel sounded worried which caused Santana to stop.

"Not since I left this morning why?"

"I left last, Kurt told me about the incident, and he hasn't moved. I assumed he'd come out later when we were gone, maybe he was embarrassed or something. I got a call from the hospital, I told them that Finn stayed over with us and they said it was fine but he never checked in or came back." Santana checked her watch as Rachel spoke it had been six hours since she left him. "Since you're done with classes I was hoping you'd head home and see if he fell asleep on the couch or something and forgot to call them."

"Yeah no problem, I just need to grab a book for class and I'll head home." Hanging up Santana felt a bad feeling in her chest so instead of going to the library she just went home.

"Finn are you here?" Santana called out entering the apartment and dropping her things by the door. The couch was empty, as was the kitchen, every bed was empty as well. Sitting on her bed she figured that he finally went back to the hospital until she thought she heard something very soft. The idea hit her as she slid off the bed onto her knees then on all four. There he was, still in the closet in that position and another idea hit her. "Finn have you been there this entire time?" she whispered but there was still no answer. Including the few hours before she found him he had to have been there for ten hours at least. Leaving him for now she went into the living room and found his jacket. Searching the pockets she discovered one of her old letters to him and a card for a doctor at the VA clinic. Calling it up she asked for him and waited.

"New York Veteran's Hospital, this is Nurse Hansen speaking."

"Hello Nurse Hansen, this is Santana Lopez, I'm calling on behalf of," she started but he cut her off.

"Oh thank goodness, we've been worried about him."

"You knew this was about Finn Hudson?"

"Yeah, he talks about you and the others all the time. I suspect that he's spending time with his friends and forgot to check in."

"Well, we did stay up very late watching movies but when I woke up he had crawled into my closet and he was muttering something in Arabic." Nurse Hansen was quiet for a few minutes before sighing deeply.

"He was doing so well," he said and Santana knew that was more to himself than to her. "Okay let me get your address and I'll be right over. He's going to have to go back into therapy again and will need to stay on a strict curfew. It doesn't mean you cant come and visit him or anything and he can still visit you guys just no more sleepovers." Resigned Santana provided the address and hung up.

"I'm so sorry," Finn whispered to her having finally pulled himself out of the closet. Of course Santana wasn't expecting this so she jumped, screaming.

"Mierda en el cielo no hago eso," she shouted in Spanish glaring down Finn for just a moment before her eyes softened. "Sorry Finn, you did scare me. I called the clinic, they're sending over Nurse Hansen and someone else to help you go back." Finn nodded.

"We call him Nurse Brad. I'm scared that I'll be stuck like this for the rest of my life," he admitted to her and reflexively she placed her hands on his arms and slowly rubbed them up and down.

"You're stronger than that Finn, besides you have your friends now. Rachel, Kurt and I, we'll help you." Finn looked at her and the blankness that she had seen before was still there but there was also something else, a glimmer of hope. Since she was done with school for the day Santana went with Finn when Nurse Brad and another orderly named Stan. Back at the hospital they went into his room which was very simple, bed, desk and a lamp. Finn's army rucksack sat in the corner and Santana felt her eyes drawn to it as Finn left to get a chair for her. Returning with it he saw what she was looking at.

"I couldn't unpack, only two days worth of clothes that I get cleaned so that I have clean clothes. There's a," his voice broke as Santana knelt and opened the bag a little. The first thing she saw was a worn, dirty looking letter with red along the edges. "A letter that I kept with me when I was on patrol," he finally started to continue, "My friend Aaron was walking next to me when a sniper took him out, the red on the letter is his blood. I wanted to get to safety, to get him to safety but the enemies choose well enough that we were pinned down and I...I used his body to cover my own until there was a break in the shooting," he was crying now, "I was so scared and ashamed but I managed to get to a few rocks and started to move them aside as fast as my hands could work. Once the hole was big enough I crawled in, like a coward. Then my anger came out, seeing my friend dead a short distance away and I returned fire. We got the bastards and my friend's body was shipped back home the next day." During this he sat down on the bed, Santana was now sitting next to him holding him and stroking his hair.

"Hush, it's fine now Finn. I promise you wont have to see anymore friends die like that." Her heart was breaking at his confession and she understood that he wasn't just telling a random story. This had been the nightmare that drew him into the closet.

"The next day I was still angry and distracted so I wasn't at my best when we were taken." They remained that way with each other until it was time for Santana to head home. Rachel had called her to make sure that everything was okay. Santana had confirmed before kissing Finn's cheek goodnight. She promised to visit tomorrow after classes, Finn smiled saying he would like that watching as she drove home. Once she was gone he noticed something on his desk and smiled, it was a letter like Santana had sent him once, long ago.

Finnocence,

(Well maybe not so much anymore but always in my mind)

I know that we don't have to send letters anymore because now I could just pick up the phone and call you. However I think that it would be best if we continued to write to each other, a sort of therapy. I've asked everyone to send you letters as well. Rachel, Kurt, Tina, Artie, Sam, Mr. Shue, everyone so expect to get some more letters soon. I know that I was scared when you told me you loved me but it wasn't because I don't have feelings back. I'm scared that I wont be enough for you. My cousin is a vet as well but when he came back he was so withdrawn and it felt like no one could help him. It was so hard to be there and not be able to help and even though he was family, he wasn't close. Thinking that might happen with you, I wanted to help. Then I realized that it didn't matter what happened next, as long as we are together I know we can face anything. Once again I'm still not ready to say it back but I want you to remember that you are my best friend. Surpassing a bond I thought was impossible with anyone but Brittney and I love you as my best friend. I will be here for you no matter what so with that said and the mini confession, confessed I want you to try to sleep well and if you wake up in the middle of the night remember that I am but a phone call away.

Your best friend,

Santana Lopez

Finn found himself crying again, not of sadness but of happiness as he opened the drawer in the desk where all of their correspondence was placing the newest letter on top before crawling into bed.


End file.
